minding backwards

do it for the past for the future
as simple as a long breath out and as loud
we heard me, we say, we remember, living in a cool basement
microphone and head drum as usual
little button knobs
access to the passed away parts of me and only through
that, like, long letter i left/sent with stories and i swear i
she said i had set a bad example
but i recorded it and am recoding it and we are overdubbing and putting a
tape echo on it
the past writ down stuff minding it
backward  a hesitation- lies, posturing
drenched in it doing it again
for when this part drops off
for the next part surfacing maybe
we can draw along through this next stuff
with a cache of memory for what was recent
and what never happened "that place you just played it
sounded like it had a big empty hole in it"
i sing i sing i sing now and i told you i wasn't
for following but
maybe we can stand at angles to trust i could watch
this change and that become wet with dew and tears
hearing someone really sing about
the rain and about roses and talking
back through tapes recorded and misplaced
boxes of them up in the attic