Usufruct

My fingers hurt the least in the morning because of the repairs
And because the light coming in is half pain-killer
The light moves around the bottom of the doorframe a bit
And then climbs it
My fingers have their eyes on that
They, too, symbolically climb
And in their dreams they steal pen-nibs,
Ink, and extremely small and sharp knives
Their dreams are in my dream
Of hiding out in the tallest hotel
Across some river from everyone I know
I sneak into rooms
Never paying
I flip a coin, my thumb looks and feels terrible
It is getting dark out
I sleep on the three hundredth floor
In a very luxurious bed

I ride the yellow trains across the river to find everyone I know
Some of them are in a car
One of them is frustrated and sad
Because things aren't going as planned
My fingers start hurting, I realize
And I realize why: I am biting on them
I am actually tearing little bits of them off
With my teeth
And then spitting
Its not a Johnny Appleseed thing
There is not enough open soil in the city
For it to be something like that
It is just a wasteful thing, a careless thing
And a nervous thing
We pass a glove store and I say "wait"
And I come out with a glove on each hand
The gloves look exactly like new hands
Without all of the aging
Or smashed fingernail, or ripped cuticles
My old fingers sigh, relieved
They nestle into the gloves and go to sleep
And I feel ready to attempt some things in the city
With everyone I know, and we try, and we do

When I ride back over the river in a yellow train
I wave to them with my hand
By the end of the wave I don't even notice the glove that is on it
Back at my hotel I sneak into another room
And start stealing pen-nibs and ink
And extremely small and sharp knives
In a different room that looks like a version of the first one
All of the ladies that work in the hotel
Are totally nice
They have nice faces as well
And I decide to hang out in the lobby
I keep getting phone calls to the front desk
I take the phone calls
Everyone I know is calling me