after pinplay by anne carson

the study of a genius

is not the study of self

what is a genius

in the midst of

love imperceptible?

my heart

gripped a

contraction

a holding point

a pin prick

a punctum

in the desert mountains

in the snowy salt marsh

in the terrible ocean

you were too smart

for feeling or 

feelings

swept by a cold front

you were the weather i was in

my heart o-

you saw 

around the campfire

she glowed

with a pulse

and a sense of potential

I took it

and zipped it

firmly held the match

I struck it

and blew it

the punctum wasn't

for now-

here at the table

my thoughts clipped

break lock

I thought there would be music

in a computer or system

but the silence was fire

with a new shape

i'd take mine but

why- oh

what for? 

oh me. oh my god.

at the moment of parting

my lips were slow

at six in the morning

he knew?

I spoke but

in vain

goodbye

i said

i gave everything

i didn't give anything

fisherman

coagulant

red line on my throat

i leave the case in boxes

in disarray and blast

the heart of this Russian

was built in the past

i sing you gentle roses

i visit your face

now here's a sample

of how emptiness tastes:

of rye bread and oranges

and amitriptyline

i can always cry more

i miss you

i loved you

a pin in my eye