no, i want it to be a good thing
little and big and good and possible and
what is possible? there, main strength-
look at potential and look at the potential and look closer
at everything- look!
look around i dare, i dig
i turn and tunnel and present another thing to climb
but don't bother climbing
don't bother with the climbing or with digging
there is land on land
and the plane of furthest place
i bet work doesn't have to be futile, i read
negri and he wrote that we can work outside of an abstract end
and that we can become an event that is new and non-utopic-
(because "utopia is a platonic attitude, a reactionary tendency-
the illusion of re-finding a world ready-made")
but then oscar wilde writes
"a map of the world that does not include utopia is not worth glancing at."
but i work on a someplace
not on a no-place
and i fucked up making this shelf
and i didn't think it through and although i painted it
and screwed it and sanded it i am still exhausted by it
and its failure
my failure to build this shelf
but this is not about failure
it is about a good thing, a possible thing
i know that i can fix the shelf right for my room
and of course there is music and that helps
with josephine foster doing an die musik
which was once schubert's song but it got moved
to colorado and with dragging guitar line and a balanced
acoustic
i dig how people do things
especially when they do them right after they say they will
or within this particular limit of time that says "yes"
"this is what i had in mind"
"and i did this thing"
but my shelf
my digging today
my song on the porch was a failure too
because i can't move my fingers how i want over the frets
i recorded the outside sounds of little girls walking and a car passing
which sounded like the ocean for a second
and i read a bit about pedagogy and about how maria montessori's thought
got outlouded by freud and spencer and fixed intelligence-
how she got unearthed by the idea of I.Q. and that all of who we are is just
a recapitulated ontology via phylogeny
and i tried so hard to build this shelf
nonetheless, the air feels sooooo good today and i am not
a genetic code any more than i am a master carpenter
i am a fur-filled anatomy, all against figuring
when PK told me on friday night that i had made
3 boys fall in love with me i had no idea what he was talking about
i am a shelf, it turns out, so come on-
take a look, see a book? see anything you like?
i have got orwell and aurelius and notley and cather and baus and mann.
i have plato and mosby and himmelfarb and darwin.
i have svalina and sarte and goethe.
i have this afternoon and my failed attempt at carpentry.
i also have this list that i made earlier on cardboard
with sunday which says:
meet
stick
sign shelf
song
email
cc people
make dinner
i guess i got stuck on the shelf.
and i guess i failed at the song.
but there is still time for the stick and for the sign.
i can do those things.
i have a this entire body
and i have this entire mind.
little and big and good and possible and
what is possible? there, main strength-
look at potential and look at the potential and look closer
at everything- look!
look around i dare, i dig
i turn and tunnel and present another thing to climb
but don't bother climbing
don't bother with the climbing or with digging
there is land on land
and the plane of furthest place
i bet work doesn't have to be futile, i read
negri and he wrote that we can work outside of an abstract end
and that we can become an event that is new and non-utopic-
(because "utopia is a platonic attitude, a reactionary tendency-
the illusion of re-finding a world ready-made")
but then oscar wilde writes
"a map of the world that does not include utopia is not worth glancing at."
but i work on a someplace
not on a no-place
and i fucked up making this shelf
and i didn't think it through and although i painted it
and screwed it and sanded it i am still exhausted by it
and its failure
my failure to build this shelf
but this is not about failure
it is about a good thing, a possible thing
i know that i can fix the shelf right for my room
and of course there is music and that helps
with josephine foster doing an die musik
which was once schubert's song but it got moved
to colorado and with dragging guitar line and a balanced
acoustic
i dig how people do things
especially when they do them right after they say they will
or within this particular limit of time that says "yes"
"this is what i had in mind"
"and i did this thing"
but my shelf
my digging today
my song on the porch was a failure too
because i can't move my fingers how i want over the frets
i recorded the outside sounds of little girls walking and a car passing
which sounded like the ocean for a second
and i read a bit about pedagogy and about how maria montessori's thought
got outlouded by freud and spencer and fixed intelligence-
how she got unearthed by the idea of I.Q. and that all of who we are is just
a recapitulated ontology via phylogeny
and i tried so hard to build this shelf
nonetheless, the air feels sooooo good today and i am not
a genetic code any more than i am a master carpenter
i am a fur-filled anatomy, all against figuring
when PK told me on friday night that i had made
3 boys fall in love with me i had no idea what he was talking about
i am a shelf, it turns out, so come on-
take a look, see a book? see anything you like?
i have got orwell and aurelius and notley and cather and baus and mann.
i have plato and mosby and himmelfarb and darwin.
i have svalina and sarte and goethe.
i have this afternoon and my failed attempt at carpentry.
i also have this list that i made earlier on cardboard
with sunday which says:
meet
stick
sign shelf
song
cc people
make dinner
i guess i got stuck on the shelf.
and i guess i failed at the song.
but there is still time for the stick and for the sign.
i can do those things.
i have a this entire body
and i have this entire mind.
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